By Pastor Jamey VanGelder
Proverbs 18:1 “He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom.”
One of the main principles of growing in wisdom is to continually be learning and walking in humility. This requires you to value what other people have to say. When you do this, people get to speak into your life. You’ll hear stories and learn from their mistakes. This allows you to learn lessons without having to suffer the pain of experiencing them yourself.
This is one of the reasons I love asking questions when someone tells me a story. “What did you learn from your experience… What will you do differently in the future… What advice would you give someone going through the same thing?” These kinds of questions keep me constantly learning and growing in wisdom.
The proverb I quoted above is important for another reason as well. The person who separates themselves from other people is doing so because they don’t want others to share their opinion. They are not looking for counsel on how to do something in a wise way, but instead want to do it their own way. Another situation where this is found is when someone knows they are doing something their friends and family will not approve of. So instead of getting counsel and asking people for help, this person separates them self.
This scripture says it quarrels against all sound wisdom. The reason is because wisdom really does require a continual learning process and a willingness to receive the counsel of others. To grow in wisdom we must continually be inviting people to speak into our lives. It is important to cultivate relationships and grow in trust. Every person should have a small group of trusted friends and family. These relationships need to be people we will trust and listen to even when there is disagreement.